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Confessions of a Female Member from the Best Dating App in 2019: “I’m in my 30s & I don’t
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Confessions of a Female Member from the Best Dating App in 2019: “I’m in my 30s & I don’t want kids”

I’m awoman in my 30s and I don’t want children. My idols are TV personality Shelly Horton and financial guru Melissa Browne . These powerful women aren’t childless; they are child-free. And I absolutely, positively love this child-free lifestyle as well.

Men think I want children and their perception is absolutely, definitely wrong.

I’ve been dating some men that I’ve met via the best dating app for iPhone, and I’ve found something interesting : Almost every man that I’ve dated assumes that I want children urgently. I nearly wanted to laugh whenever that happens. I remember I was on the first date with my ex-husband many years ago and I talked about why my boss wanted me to do more work (simply because I don’t have kids whereas all my female co-workers have kids), my ex-husband had a smirk on his face because he thought I was desperate and I wanted kids. But he was so wrong. At that time, I chose him only because he already had a child (I’m 100% sure I don’t want kids, so it would be easier if he already has a kid – actually, almost every man wants to have his own children). But my ex-husband didn’t know that was why I chose him. I didn’t tell him about it because if I tell him I don’t want kids, he would figure out that’s why other men don’t want me! Since I don’t want to lower my perceived value in his eyes, I never mentioned this topic to him. Later on, we married each other for convenience rather than love, and he never figured out that I totally don’t want kids even after we’ve got a divorce. And today he still doesn’t know a child-free lifestyle is my favorite.

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I dated other men via the best dating apps for Android, and they all have the same perception.

After the divorce, I joined some best dating apps for iPhone and Android in order to meet more men. Yet I’ve discovered that every man that I’ve met thinks I really need to have children as soon as possible because I’m already 34 years old. But in reality, I was laughing so hard inside. In the dating department, there is a term called “The Wall” which refers to women in their 30s who are so eager to have children that they have to build an invisible wall around them. In other words, they can’t behave in a playful and sexy way because they want to look like wife material rather than a one-night-stand – they think in this way, men won’t see them as easy women & will probably want to build serious relationships with them. But these women are making a huge mistake: men actually know your biological clock is ticking; the fact that you build an invisible wall won’t make you look more desirable. In the popular dating eBook for men Game: A Cure for Loneliness, author George Massey writes, “…But all too often, you’ll sit opposite these women, seeing, but not quite seeing that they currently exist at a crossroads of life. A part of them is dying, perhaps the most essential part. And there they are, looking at you, but staring into their own potentially childless abyss, and if they gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into them.” That perfectly describes men’s experience regarding dating childless women in their 30s. Yes, 99% of single, childless women in their 30s are like that, as evidenced by their dating profiles’ description on the most popular dating apps, e.g., “Looking for serious men only. If you just want a one-night stand, look elsewhere”. But I’m in the 1%. I truly, really don’t want kids, so I don’t have to have a serious relationship.

experience regarding dating childless

Since I don’t want kids and I don’t necessarily need a serious relationship, why am I in the dating scene?

Now you are wondering why the hell I have joined several free dating apps, right? Well, honestly, I’ve had tokophobia since 1988 and I never want children all my life. But I still joined some reliable dating apps in order to meet men…but for a very different reason . Indeed, I don’t want kids and I don’t have to get married or find a long-term, serious relationship. The reason I still use the best dating apps is that I have realized that all the big-wins in my career come from male attention . I know this sounds bizarre, but let me explain. Some time ago, I learned the 80/20 rule from Tim Ferriss – 80% of a person’s results come from 20% of this person’s activities. Therefore, I analyzed what I’ve achieved in my career and I’ve realized that the majority of my big-wins are a result of my friendships/relationships with men! These men wanted to get close to me because they were attracted to me . That’s why they gave me a lot of career opportunities and helped me to become successful & make more money. Frankly, we live in a male-dominated world, so men have controlled the majority of resources on the planet. Therefore, it is wise to leverage my attractiveness and get men to help me with my career success.

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I’d like to focus on my vital few (20% of my activities) and get the best results.

In Kate Northrup’s book Do Less: A Revolutionary Approach to Time and Energy Management for Busy Moms, she writes, “Your vital few are the few things that you and only you can do in your work life that move the needle forward the most in terms of getting you closer to your goals, driving revenue, or whatever other measure of success is appropriate.” This message deeply resonates with me. In my case, since I don’t want kids and I think the pop culture has exaggerated the importance of love, I tend to look for arrangements rather than relationships on free dating apps. As Brandon Wade famously said, “Love is a concept invented by the poor”, I think it will be better for me to avoid poor and greedy men. I just want to leverage my sexiness and meet successful men who can further help me with my career. As I don’t want children anyway, my life is 100%mine. Some of my friends have children and they are complaining, “After having kids, my life isn’t about myself anymore. Now my life is about someone else.” I understand why some women are mentally unwell after having an abortion and that’s why there is a book called Abortion Regret: The New Attack on Reproductive Freedom, but I prefer reading another book called Regretting Motherhood (written by Orna Donath) which is a controversial/taboo topic that most people are afraid to talk about because most people want to be politically correct. The fact that you’re reading this blog article means probably you are not the most judgmental person in the world, so I’m happy to share my truth with you.