Most relationship issues are caused by misunderstanding in romantic relationships . For example, when you assume giving your spouse a present is a way to show your true love, your spouse actually thinks spending quality time with you is a much better option. That’s when conflict appears. Clearly, misunderstanding love expression (AKA love language) is the major reason for relationship problems.
Because of the nature of my work, I’ve interviewed many dating experts from relationship dating apps. And I’ve heard many couples’ real stories. Some of those stories are not pleasant because they are raw and ugly. In my opinion, everybody just did what they could with what they had and what they knew at that time. Therefore, no one really had a bad or evil intention in most situations. But why are dating and relationships so difficult? This remains a mysterious myth until the 5 love languages are discovered.
According to dating coaches from relationship dating apps, the five love languages are acts of service, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, physical touch and quality time.
Some individuals’ love language is acts of service, e.g. doing household chores and helping their spouses’ careers / businesses / work. A lot of introverts are in this group as they usually do more and say less.
Many individuals’ love language is words of affirmation, e.g. saying “I love you” and paying their spouses compliments. Most extraverts are in this group because they are more talkative.
As for receiving gifts, this is very clear –people in this group love receiving gifts because gifts make them satisfied!
As to physical touch, research indicates that individuals from some cultures tend to prefer this love language (e.g. Italians).
Speaking of quality time, this is super important because more and more people have realized that time is their most valuable asset in life!
I. Acts of Service: Your spouse is busy working on a new project and has no time to cook, so you cook a delicious meal for your spouse.
II. Words of Affirmation: When your spouse comes back home from a business trip overseas, you say “Honey, I truly, deeply, madly miss you!”
III. Receiving Gifts: You give your spouse a gift every wedding anniversary.
IV. Physical Touch: You enjoy sensual massage in the bedroom and intimacy is super important in your relationship .
V. Quality Time: Every weekend, you don’t check your email Inbox; instead, you hang out with your partner and you are fully present for each other.
• Apart from misunderstanding of love languages, there are other reasons for a high divorce rate.
In most western countries, the divorce rate is above 50%. And there are many couples who are very unhappily married. (Source: relationship dating app)
First of all, women are becoming more and more independent. In a typical western country such as Australia, women do not have to depend on their husbands when it comes to money. As a result, getting divorced is easy these days. What’s more, many ladies can get 50% of their ex-husband’s asset. Therefore, when things don’t feel right in a marriage, many women choose to be divorced rather than staying married.
In the second place, many people have extremely high expectations. In the past, many cultures had arranged marriages – at that time, people didn’t have very high expectations. But today love marriages are mainstream, and individuals usually have high expectations when they fall in love and then get married. But the reality of a marriage isn’t the most delightful thing in the world. Consequently, many couples are very, very disappointed.
A relationship coach from a relationship dating app once said, “The hardest job in the world is marriage. If I could do it again, I definitely wouldn’t get married! I don’t want to get married!”
Well, in actuality, marriage is much more than love as there are 3 pillars in a real marriage – genuine connection, mutual benefits and intimacy. If a marriage has 1 pillar, it can still work. If a marriage has 2 pillars, it’s a high-quality marriage. If a marriage has 3 pillars, this couple must be on TV. Sadly, most couples expect 3 pillars to be present in their marriages – that’s not realistic at all. (Source: relationship dating apps )
Last but not least, money is the biggest reason for divorce. Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs indicates that the first level of human needs is food, shelter and clothes. The second level of needs is safety and financial security. The 3rd level of needs is love and a sense of belonging. So, when money is an issue, couples can’t stay in love.
Quote: “Experts from relationship dating apps claim that money is a common issue in relationships, so the divorce rate is very high.”