As the co-founder of an anonymous dating app, it’s an honor to be a contributor on this blog today. Now please allow me to share the four seasons of a relationship with you.
This is the exciting phase of a relationship. You’ve encountered someone hot and the sexual tension is growing massively. You can’t wait to stop chatting on the anonymous dating app and meet that individual in person immediately.
Everything he/she does is intriguing. Everything he/she says is interesting. You cherish each moment with this person. Life is good !
The sky is blue. The grass is green. The sunshine is beautiful. You are in love.
Having said that, this is the most critical moment in this relationship because this is exactly when you set boundaries in dating – you set boundaries and communicate your standards in the initial stage of a relationship.
Yes, after meeting each other on the anonymous dating app, you feel excited and turned on. But this excitement period will end because the high levels of hormones in your body will only maintain high for 24 months maximum. This is the honeymoon stage of your relationship.
Yet this is when you build the foundation of your relationship so that your partner knows what’s allowed and what’s not allowed in this relationship with you. If you don’t say anything when your partner does something wrong, I’m pretty sure he/she will further violate your standards. That’s how most relationships fail in the end.
So, the key message is – have some standards and set boundaries in dating early in a relationship.
The second season is intense, romantic and enjoyable. You want to spend a lot of time with each other, even though you met each other on an anonymous dating app.
You are madly in love with each other because the attraction is real and the chemistry is strong.
You are building an emotional connection by having lots of shared experiences together – maybe you are going to the movies, traveling the world, etc.
However, this is when people forget something important – mutual benefits in a relationship.
How many couples break up and realize that they really hate it when they think of how much they have given to their partners who are leaving? Yes, they were givers when their relationships were in the second season.
Most couples join their personal finances when they are in the second stage of their relationship. They open joint bank accounts and build business projects together.
Sadly, when couples break up, financial stress is the No. 1 reason why they suffer from anxiety and depression as a consequence.
In my opinion, the solution is: when you are in the second phase of your relationship, you must find out whether your partner shares the same (or similar) values with you. If you two have conflicting value systems, you two are not compatible in the long run.
Statistics on anonymous dating apps show that most relationships don’t really work in the long term. That being said, it doesn’t mean these relationships are not valuable.
My suggestion is – only join your personal finances with your partner when you are pretty sure this relationship is reliable and stable. Don’t join personal finances with someone just because you are madly in love with that person.
This stage can be starting a long-term commitment with someone you’ve met via the anonymous dating app. It can also be getting married!
A major survey on the best anonymous dating app shows that approximately 25% of their members who met each other online got married within 3 years.
In fact, many couples got married within a few months. It is said that couples are more likely to get married when they are excited about their relationships. By contrast, if a couple have been going out for many years without plans to get married, chances are they won’t get married.
Therefore, if you are already in a long-term relationship or you are married, you’d better enjoy it now and make every day count.
Also, once you are in a serious relationship, you would be well-advised to make the most out of it, e.g. starting a new project with your partner (it can be a work project or a life project), moving to a new city together (this can be a place where housing is cheaper), and so forth.
This is something that most people don’t want to talk about because it makes people uncomfortable. But I’d like to be honest with you.
Research on the anonymous dating app indicates that most senior singles looking for love want to get married for companion rather than love, because senior daters know that the golden years shouldn’t be about romantic passion anymore; instead, it’s more about having companion.
A study on the anonymous dating app also suggests that most relationships end, and that’s very normal. People have to learn how to make peace with this fact in life.
Here is what I did when I was going through a terrible breakup:
1. I hired a life coach to help me get out of the mental mess. It was definitely a life-changing experience. I enjoyed the weekly dinner before the coaching session; I loved the books recommended by the life coach; I cultivated the new hobby of personal development as a result.
2. I hired a dating coach to improve my love life. I went out three nights a week for social events and joined an anonymous dating app. My goal was not to find someone new immediately. As a matter of fact, I wanted to learn the lessons and practice my dating muscles so that I know I’m improving in this area of my life.
3. I started my own business and founded the best anonymous dating app on the market. Of course, I learned how to build a business online and luckily, I made it.
I have to say that without that difficult breakup, I certainly wouldn’t become who I am today. That breakup changed my life forever. Now my life is on the right track, my love life is thriving, and my business is growing.
We all know that there are 4 seasons in a year: spring, summer, autumn and winter. It’s scientific and automatic.
Similarly, we also have 4 seasons in a relationship. And it’s not a coincidence because what I discovered is that almost everything goes through these four stages.
Recently, I participated in a free workshop called Spaciousness (run by Kate Watts ) which is about the four seasons of business projects: emergence (new beginning and planning), visibility (putting yourself out there & collaboration), culmination (details & completing tasks) and fertile void (rest & evaluation).
Interestingly, although Mrs. Watts was talking about managing business projects, I actually think her theory also applies to dating and relationships. In my reality, my current love life is in the second season (so it’s pretty cool right now). And my business is in the third stage, i.e. after the successful product launch, the anonymous dating app is receiving detailed feedback from members.
Sometimes I couldn’t help but wonder, “What if everything has four seasons?”
Then I looked at agriculture and found that there are indeed four phases: 1) planting; 2) full bloom; 3) harvest; 4) fallow.
And I looked at women’s menstrual cycle and found that there are also four phases: 1) menstrual; 2) follicular; 3) ovulation; 4) luteal.
Surely, I looked at my energy throughout the day: 1) morning – waking up; 2) noon – high energy; 3) evening – preparation for pause; 4) night – sleep.
Then I looked at the life experiences of a woman: 1) maidenhood; 2) womanhood; 3) perimenopause; 4) wisdom years.
Finally, I looked at the cycle of the moon: 1) new moon; 2) waxing moon; 3) full moon; 4) waning moon.
As a result, I’ve realized that no matter we are talking about building a business such as creating an anonymous dating app or having a love life, we all go through four stages in each project.
So, what I’ve learned is: the stress in love, life and business usually comes from focusing on the wrong things when the time isn’t right.
For instance, when I was at school, I spent too much time worrying about my looks and whether members of the opposite s*x liked me. It was definitely the wrong focus at that time because it should be the right time to learn more knowledge and empower myself when I was still very young.
Nevertheless, when an individual is in his/her 20s and 30s, it’s the perfect time to explore romance and love. That’s why the majority of members on our anonymous dating app are in their 20s and 30s.
Furthermore, after my dating app has been automated, I will go through a fertile void period, which is perfectly fine, because I will need to evaluate what I’ve done and find the next business project.