I used to be a member of an international dating app , and then several years later, I’ve become the founder of the best interracial dating app. Therefore, I’d like to share some of my insights in love and business with you so that you will benefit from the information in this article today.
When I was a member of an international dating app many years ago, I had to deal with rejections all the time. This is part and parcel of using an online dating app.
In his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k, Mark Manson famously wrote, “You’re not special & your problems have been faced by somebody in the past, present or future. Thinking otherwise is entitlement.”
As I see it, I’m an average guy. I know this isn’t the most pleasant truth in the world, but I’m happy to point it out : Most people on the planet are average, and that’s okay. When I was an average user on an international dating app, women rejected me every day. But I know that was just a part of the statistics because I can’t make everyone like me. So, I’m okay with that.
The real reason people suffer from rejection is because they are not okay with it.
I knew that I only need one woman to be my life partner; therefore, I don’t care about those rejections who come from the wrong women anyway. The right woman must adore me.
I met my wife on the international dating app and now we are happily married. Because of the inspiration from that popular dating app, I’ve developed a successful interracial dating app which caters for the needs of international daters.
You probably know that anyone who has any work in public will receive negative comments because that’s just a part of the process .
My understanding is life has costs – anything positive in life requires some kind of sacrifice or risk. There are no exceptions because nobody makes it through life without several scars.
As Ryan Holiday once said, “Great individuals turn personal tragedies – really everything, anything – to their advantage”. And I agree with him 100%.
For example, when I received a negative email from someone who mentioned the city I’m living in, I realized that the city’s name appeared in the meta-description of my website, so people could see which city I live in on Google. Therefore, I immediately changed the meta-description of my website’s homepage – previously, the majority of my clients came from my local area, but nowadays, most of my customers are online. So, I don’t need to display the name of my city on Google anymore and I should change what I display on Google. Hence, I turned the negative comment to my advantage and improved my work.
After I launched the interracial dating app, I received negative comments and emails because interracial dating is already a controversial concept, although I have to point out that interracial/international dating isn’t illegal.
Here is how I deal with negative comments in business:
First and most importantly, I don’t respond to most negative comments if they are posted in public online. That’s because if I respond to those negative comments, I would improve their Search Engine Optimization (SEO), which means haters will get more traffic on the Internet. That’s why I choose to starve the hate speech, even though I know I can easily win the argument if I join it.
Second, I promote some pieces that offer constructive feedback . This is how I know whether something is constructive feedback: If the negative comment is attacking me as a person, that’s just hate speech without any real value in it; however, if the negative comment is about improving my work, that is constructive criticism – in this case, I would definitely respond to it. In this way, it shows that I’m open to criticism, so it’s actually good for my interracial dating app. Nobody is perfect anyway.
Last but not least, I know that no matter what I say or do, there will be 10% of the audience who will find a way to feel offended. I see it as numbers, so I don’t take it personal. In other words, I anticipate; I don’t react.
Everyone went through some difficult experiences in love, life and business/career. No exceptions. Thus, it’s very important to know how to reframe those negative experiences and thrive.
I went through a divorce when I was in my late 20s and early 30s. It was a tough time. At that time, I moved countries, surrounded by very few friends and had a terrible job (I was teaching in a public high school that I absolutely had no interest in).
I started to prepare for the divorce when I was nearly 29 years old and received the divorce certificate when I was almost 31 years old. During those years, I almost completely changed my worldview. In the past, I spent lots of time watching the news, browsing webpages on topics such as watches and fashion, hanging out with loser friends, etc. After that difficult divorce, I have cultivated new hobbies , e.g. developing the best interracial dating app, reading books and dancing to the music.
"Living well is the best revenge."George Herbert advises. Yes, he is totally right. No matter you are trying to forget your ex or deal with a hater online, the best solution is to live well. Your success is the ultimate revenge.
After the difficult relationship breakup and seeing haters’ comments on the Internet, I’ve realized something paramount: If I do not create and control my environment, my environment creates and controls me.
That is so true. Previously, I didn’t have that kind of awareness, so my friends at that time became my friends by default – those people were my classmates at school/university and co-workers in the same office. In contrast, today my friends are hand-picked by me consciously, so now my social circle is built by design.
In the past, I didn’t have a career plan because I was relying on my boss to tell me what to do. By contrast, these days I have created the best interracial dating app on the market.
When I was younger, I married someone because of desperation rather than inspiration. Later on, I figured out that almost all failed relationships started from lack of love and respect for myself. Therefore, I’ve learned my lessons and found the woman of my dreams right now.
“Trying to get everybody to like you is a sign of mediocrity. You will avoid the difficult decisions, and you will avoid confronting those who need to be confronted,” says Colin Powell. That’s exactly why I don’t expect everyone to like me.
As the founder of the best interracial dating app, I have seen enough negative comments on the Web. Frankly, those negative comments have improved my SEO, so haters are unconsciously helping me with my business.
"Focus on impact rather than approval. If you believe you can change the world, just do what you believe is correct and expect resistance & attackers," my business mentor concludes. "Keep calm & carry on!"
The best individuals in any field are always those who get the most criticism. The bigger your impact and the larger the scale & ambition of your work, the more negative comments you will receive. That’s my conclusion.
I still remember Scott Boras said , "If you are very effective at your work, 95% of the things said about you will be negative." Because I’m also a Scorpio, I completely understand what he means.
As a result, here is my recommendation for you:
1. If you went through a bad breakup and now you are looking for a partner, you will need to try both offline dating and online dating to maximize your opportunities. When you are doing online dating, make sure you download more than one trusty dating app so that you can further maximize your chance, e.g. you can download an international dating app, an interracial dating app, a mainstream dating app, etc.
2. If you are a content creator, a creative entrepreneur or a public speaker, chances are you will receive a lot of criticism. For instance, if you publish 52 videos a year or 30 articles a month, several years later, one of your pieces will go wrong, because only the struggle is guaranteed & the success is not. Just see what you have learned from those negative comments. And benefit from the lessons.
3. Your success is the best revenge. Design your life by eating better, sleeping more and exercise more. In my case, I eat at least 375g vegetables per day, sleep at least seven hours per night (I eat some nutmeg during dinner to improve the quality of my sleep) and dance to the music (at least six songs per day).